Sunday, June 24, 2012

Walking on a dream



I wrote this over a year ago, as a requirement for a med school. I poured all my heart and soul into this, so I share this to you now, the serious, no arte side of me. 

The hospital used to be my second home. As a sickly little girl I had always spent my days lying on the hospital bed, and I can clearly recall also having to spend my birthday, Christmas, and New Year there. That was how quickly I had been able to adapt to the surroundings of the place. I started to like the familiar smell of a hospital, that faint smell of alcohol one usually recognizes the moment he enters the premises. I started picturing myself wearing a doctor’s white gown, and from that moment on I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up. I wanted to be a doctor.
My education was an inspiration for me to explore what life can offer me. When I was in high school I considered taking up pre-law in college so I would become a lawyer, or something which suits me, like journalism (because I have always been fond of writing) or mass communications (because I like interacting with people). The possibilities were endless, and even opportunities come every single day, in little doses. I took a shot for a big one. I chose the one thing that has always been in my heart and which dates back to my childhood years. I decided to take up pre-med and be a doctor. This will be a cinch, I thought. And boy, was I wrong. College turned out to be a bully in disguise, and it was out to get me. I never let it get me though, I’ve always loved Science, and even if I had to fully absorb myself with every branch of Chemistry there is, and master lengthy names of bacterium and viruses, it never occurred to me to quit. My eyes were on the prize. My heart was all set in becoming a doctor. I was an intern when I was in my fourth year in college. Internship taught me a lot of things one cannot learn by merely sitting in a chair and listening to your professor while you jot down notes on your notebook. Being an intern is a practice for professionalism and a test of endurance (24 hours of duty is no joke), and compassion for others rises up to about five to ten times. It was such a thrilling and humbling experience for me altogether.
I am never the type to give up quickly. When I can’t find a solution to a problem, I exhaust all means to solve it. I like analyzing, I like details. Recently I have been watching this TV drama called House M.D. It’s about a sarcastic and cunning physician named Gregory House. I was inspired by this fictional character, because he’s always able to unravel every medical mystery of one patient to another. However his unkind manner draws him away from people. He’s incapacitated, yet able to save lives. Someday I will do so much more. I will be a doctor AND someone who can be relied upon. I will save lives, even if I’m no superhero. Even if I’m no Gregory House.
In a decade, I’ll be 31, and I foresee myself as a strong and mature woman, able to handle tough situations with grace.  Moreover, I envision myself already married to a wonderful and loving man. I have always believed that building a family is one of the precious gifts one can give to himself, as his family will become his ultimate stronghold in life, his source of love and acceptance. Also, by that time I already am a full-fledged doctor, a cardiologist, or maybe even an internist, extending a helping hand to people of poor health, saving lives by treating them, and at the same time providing transparency and offering fair judgment at all times. There’s something about helping others that makes me feel good inside. Being a good physician means selfless service to others, and ten years from now, I’ll finally be able to be one of those white coat-wearing professionals we call our doctors.
In the future, I picture myself as someone with a zest for life and adventure, that is why I plan to travel. Travel the world with my family, go to rare places, try something new, try exotic food, just because I never had the chance to do it in the past. It’s never too late for new experiences, and it will be all the more fantastic, because I will be with the ones I love.
We are responsible for what we will become in the future, and what we are now is a projection of the past, but only with the lights on this time. The reason is that we learn out of our previous mistakes, our eyes are put not in the back of our heads, but in front, to remind ourselves to always look ahead and see the bright future with clear vision. My dream of becoming a doctor is just starting to unfold, waiting for me to take that big step that I know I won’t ever regret in doing. I’m looking forward to it.

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